As I read through Joshua 6 and think about the walls falling, I worry about the people inside and have trouble getting past that. Yes, it is an impossible thing that a wall could fall after a group of people have marched around for 7 days, but what was going on inside the walled city of Jericho? Do we have an account of their fear and terror? I have a hard time seeing this story as all good. I am disturbed by the destruction that ensues after the walls fall. It is hard for me to get past that. I see God's nature here as that of a mean, punishing God. I know that God is omniscient and I do forget that, but did He have to kill every living thing inside those walls, except for Rahab and her family? This is the part of Joshua that starts to get hairy for me.
I don't know that I have ever done anything ridiculous for God's glory. I know that I am staying on in this study because I know God wants me to. This would be the part that if I had to decide, I would bail out and it is not because of the wonderful people here hiking with me. It is because I think this part of the hike is difficult for me to navigate. I am saddened and scared when I read about how everything - kids, puppies, moms, dads, men, women, cows, goats, etc. are massacred. I am not sure where the glory of God is in that. So, I am staying on and will try not to get too out of breath as I continue this journey.
Michelle,
ReplyDeleteI am praying about how to answer this post...I can't seem to reach the right words or thoughts (maybe because it's so early in the morning, maybe because I honestly never thought of these questions before) I am so proud of you for pressing on, and I am so impressed that you are so honest, and I am so blessed that you truly, truly are looking at the whole story. I'll be praying/thinking of you all day today and hopefully will be able to revisit this tonight.
you're such a cool chick. seriously, cool.
Oh Michelle, I love your beautiful heart! I am completely humbled because my blinded eyes blew right past that part of the story. How could I not see that? This is THE question that plagues so many people and often seems to be the tipping point one way or the other for faith. I will not pretend for a minute that I get the whys of God - we stood in the middle of that slum in Nairobi together and that why God? was the very question that crushed my heart. I have to think that if we have a God who sees good in each of His creations and went to such lengths to draw us back into relationship with Him that He must take no joy or entertainment in the devastation of His people. I find myself always heading to the might and toughness of our God and very rarely apply to His character words like tender, but it goes hand in hand with merciful and compassionate. Oh how it must have broken His heart to watch the deterioration of Jericho. Someone once reminded me that all of the emotions that we are capable of feeling are magnified in our God.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you refuse to give in to Satan's whispering in your ear. These are the very things that God longs for us to lay at His feet. He wants to hear your heartbreak and questions. He is not a God who will turn His back to our frustration. The Bible is filled with people who cried out to God in their anguish. CRY OUT, my sweet, compassionate friend!
As for ridiculous things for God's glory, you my friend stood by my side and stared into a little boy's eyes while we treated his third degree burn to could have cost him his leg. You were Jesus to that boy and so many others. I could not have cared for him or many of the others without you doing "ridiculous" things by my side. I love you so very much, Michelle! Thank you for bearing your heart ESPECIALLY when it was pain, discouragement and doubt. So many Christians would put a smile on their face and pretend.
Michelle, I really love your post!! There's so much destruction in the old testament, it's hard to imagine that that is the same God who I believe loves each and every one of us! It scares me too!! God bless you for persevering through your desire to quit the hike! You will be blessed, and we are all blessed with having you with us!!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you're still here.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I've been spending a good deal of time this week thinking about the other side of the walls too. I really have.
Wow...unlike a lot of you, I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about the other part. But there WAS another part. And what's sad is that there never had to be (the other part). Our sin is so insidious that sometimes I forget about it. Thank you for this reminder and for sharing your heart, Michelle. Love that you're choosing to press on and stand firm.
ReplyDeleteMichelle,
ReplyDeleteI spent some time praying and seeking God about the 'inside of the walls' perspective... and I'm so glad that I did, because the next few weeks of the study get MUCH worse before they get better. There is a lot of death and destruction, and it's harder and harder to read. I feel like your honesty here helped me to write the next few chapters' study guide through a different view.
The reason that we're focusing on the attributes of God during this study are for times like this. Times when we can say honestly 'I don't get all of this, it doesn't seem right' are the perfect times to look back at God's Character and know there must be more to the story that we just don't understand.
If my BFF burnt down her house on purpose, the world might have a view of her, her motives, and the consequences she should face. But because I am her friend, and I really know her character, I know that either one of two things happened. Either a)she lost her mind and is now actually insane or b)there must be a backstory to this! I know that she is neither destructive, wasteful, nor a firebug... so I can have peace that until I talk to her myself I can assume the best.
Same thing with God... when we hear of something that seems outside of His loving, graceful, Holy character, we can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is something more to the story and can feel peace assuming the best while we either wait for more understanding from God or see Him face to Face.
Our God is good... in Him there is no darkness at all. We may not always understand- but when we look at His constant Character, we can have rest even during the rough portions of this hike...
which are coming, my dear. Hold our hands- we're going to wade through together.
xo