As I read through Joshua 6 and think about the walls falling, I worry about the people inside and have trouble getting past that. Yes, it is an impossible thing that a wall could fall after a group of people have marched around for 7 days, but what was going on inside the walled city of Jericho? Do we have an account of their fear and terror? I have a hard time seeing this story as all good. I am disturbed by the destruction that ensues after the walls fall. It is hard for me to get past that. I see God's nature here as that of a mean, punishing God. I know that God is omniscient and I do forget that, but did He have to kill every living thing inside those walls, except for Rahab and her family? This is the part of Joshua that starts to get hairy for me.
I don't know that I have ever done anything ridiculous for God's glory. I know that I am staying on in this study because I know God wants me to. This would be the part that if I had to decide, I would bail out and it is not because of the wonderful people here hiking with me. It is because I think this part of the hike is difficult for me to navigate. I am saddened and scared when I read about how everything - kids, puppies, moms, dads, men, women, cows, goats, etc. are massacred. I am not sure where the glory of God is in that. So, I am staying on and will try not to get too out of breath as I continue this journey.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Can You Tell I'm a Christian?
Well, this is a little late in being delivered, but better late than never.
Can people tell I am a Christian by looking at me? Can they see it in my eyes? Do my actions exemplify it? I don't know. As I read Joshua 5, I am struck by circumcision/pain and it points out 2 things to me. 1 - sometimes you have to do painful things for God. 2 - God will mark you, but not everyone sees it. Circumcision is now a controversial thing, but I didn't think twice about getting my son circumcised. I did it because I had read that it helps prevents infections, but I also did it because I read about it in the bible. I was there when he was circumcised and then I was there again when we had to take him to the pediatric nephrologist because of issues due to his circumcision. I did not regret my decision to have him circumcised. I cannot imagine grown men being circumcised. That is truly a sacrifice for God and it shows me that they knew that God was worth it. God used circumcision as a covenant and promise to his People.
Have I ever been asked to do anything to sacrifice for God? I don't know. I went to Kenya and when I returned I felt compelled to apply to local Physician Assistant programs. I really felt as though God was telling me to do this. Lots of interesting signs.... Well, I have been rejected by 2 out of the 3 schools I have applied to. Is it physically painful? No. However, it is painful to my psyche. I never thought I would be rejected because I am too old for this type of program. Apparently, my prerequisites are too old for some of these programs. Do I want to go to school to go back to school, not really? However, I think that is what God is asking me to do. Not painful by Joshua's standards, but somewhat painful by my standards. However, I know God is holy and will only ask me to do things that I am capable of doing.
I don't think that I can recognize Christians by sight or smell. I don't know that I am recognizable as a Christian either. My ideas of recognizable Christians are not usually favorable. I have had people say to me that they cannot believe I am a Christian because I don't judge everything they do. Believe me, I don't want to be judged either. I don't know that Christianity is about "blending in" but it is about being part of the world we live in. I want people to notice my actions and reactions and wonder what is different about me. I don't like the negative connotation that being a Christian has lately. I want to be like Jesus and have dinner with the tax collectors and sinners. Bring on the party!
Can people tell I am a Christian by looking at me? Can they see it in my eyes? Do my actions exemplify it? I don't know. As I read Joshua 5, I am struck by circumcision/pain and it points out 2 things to me. 1 - sometimes you have to do painful things for God. 2 - God will mark you, but not everyone sees it. Circumcision is now a controversial thing, but I didn't think twice about getting my son circumcised. I did it because I had read that it helps prevents infections, but I also did it because I read about it in the bible. I was there when he was circumcised and then I was there again when we had to take him to the pediatric nephrologist because of issues due to his circumcision. I did not regret my decision to have him circumcised. I cannot imagine grown men being circumcised. That is truly a sacrifice for God and it shows me that they knew that God was worth it. God used circumcision as a covenant and promise to his People.
Have I ever been asked to do anything to sacrifice for God? I don't know. I went to Kenya and when I returned I felt compelled to apply to local Physician Assistant programs. I really felt as though God was telling me to do this. Lots of interesting signs.... Well, I have been rejected by 2 out of the 3 schools I have applied to. Is it physically painful? No. However, it is painful to my psyche. I never thought I would be rejected because I am too old for this type of program. Apparently, my prerequisites are too old for some of these programs. Do I want to go to school to go back to school, not really? However, I think that is what God is asking me to do. Not painful by Joshua's standards, but somewhat painful by my standards. However, I know God is holy and will only ask me to do things that I am capable of doing.
I don't think that I can recognize Christians by sight or smell. I don't know that I am recognizable as a Christian either. My ideas of recognizable Christians are not usually favorable. I have had people say to me that they cannot believe I am a Christian because I don't judge everything they do. Believe me, I don't want to be judged either. I don't know that Christianity is about "blending in" but it is about being part of the world we live in. I want people to notice my actions and reactions and wonder what is different about me. I don't like the negative connotation that being a Christian has lately. I want to be like Jesus and have dinner with the tax collectors and sinners. Bring on the party!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Stepping Stones
Reading Joshua 4 really strikes me as a hiker's chapter. It reminds of crossing a stream or a creek on stepping stones. The Israelites were blessed to have God leading the way and stopping the flow of water in the Jordan. It shows God's faithfulness once again in taking care of His chosen people. As the Israelites cross the Jordan it proves to me that God is true to His word and His people are crossing into the Promised Land. I love rocks and the rock memorial that is being set up to honor God. Rocks are so forever to me. It is like "Diamonds are forever." Diamonds are just shiny rocks! The imagery of the Jordan starting to flow once all the people have crossed seems to be a washing away of the old to me. The Israelites have just crossed into their new life that God promised them.
It might be a new life for them, but it shows that God is always there, unchanging, and faithful. Yes, God is eternal. The concept of eternal is a scary and fascinating concept. It reminds me of "Twilight". Sorry, but it does. I have 2 daughters who have asked me to watch the movies with them and I am struck by the sorrow that these vampires have of having eternal life on earth. That is not where we want to be eternally. Plus, how about the idea of "eternal youth." That really doesn't seem to work out for anyone; you just need to look at all the bad plastic surgery to see that. The idea of eternal life with God, now that is where I want to be. As I explain to my kids, we die to this earthly life and get to live eternally with God if we believe and follow His Son, Jesus. That is not an easy concept to get. There are days when I get swept over by it, but learning more about God and His Son soothes me. The concepts of eternal, eternity, and infinity are very difficult grasp.
God's miracles are not always easy to grasp either. The memory of God's Goodness is something I remember best when I am praying. I cannot pray without thinking of all the good God has done in my life and the lives around me. Plus, looking at the miracles that are my children, it reinforces the fact that God is good!
I would have to say that my comfort level in sharing what God has done for me is increasing. I used to feel weird if I would talk about God and miracles or answered prayers. Now that I am meeting more and more people who have experienced similar things, it has become easier for me to share. I actually find that my story about going to Kenya is a great way to introduce the concept of God to people. They are fascinated hearing about traveling far away to help people who are so much worse off than anyone here in the US. Just like going to a new place or experiencing something new can cause anxiety, but we push through it. I am finding that I have to push through some of that anxiety to share the Goodness of God. It is not always easy and takes some balance, just like crossing over these Stepping Stones.
It might be a new life for them, but it shows that God is always there, unchanging, and faithful. Yes, God is eternal. The concept of eternal is a scary and fascinating concept. It reminds me of "Twilight". Sorry, but it does. I have 2 daughters who have asked me to watch the movies with them and I am struck by the sorrow that these vampires have of having eternal life on earth. That is not where we want to be eternally. Plus, how about the idea of "eternal youth." That really doesn't seem to work out for anyone; you just need to look at all the bad plastic surgery to see that. The idea of eternal life with God, now that is where I want to be. As I explain to my kids, we die to this earthly life and get to live eternally with God if we believe and follow His Son, Jesus. That is not an easy concept to get. There are days when I get swept over by it, but learning more about God and His Son soothes me. The concepts of eternal, eternity, and infinity are very difficult grasp.
God's miracles are not always easy to grasp either. The memory of God's Goodness is something I remember best when I am praying. I cannot pray without thinking of all the good God has done in my life and the lives around me. Plus, looking at the miracles that are my children, it reinforces the fact that God is good!
I would have to say that my comfort level in sharing what God has done for me is increasing. I used to feel weird if I would talk about God and miracles or answered prayers. Now that I am meeting more and more people who have experienced similar things, it has become easier for me to share. I actually find that my story about going to Kenya is a great way to introduce the concept of God to people. They are fascinated hearing about traveling far away to help people who are so much worse off than anyone here in the US. Just like going to a new place or experiencing something new can cause anxiety, but we push through it. I am finding that I have to push through some of that anxiety to share the Goodness of God. It is not always easy and takes some balance, just like crossing over these Stepping Stones.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)