As I read through Joshua 6 and think about the walls falling, I worry about the people inside and have trouble getting past that. Yes, it is an impossible thing that a wall could fall after a group of people have marched around for 7 days, but what was going on inside the walled city of Jericho? Do we have an account of their fear and terror? I have a hard time seeing this story as all good. I am disturbed by the destruction that ensues after the walls fall. It is hard for me to get past that. I see God's nature here as that of a mean, punishing God. I know that God is omniscient and I do forget that, but did He have to kill every living thing inside those walls, except for Rahab and her family? This is the part of Joshua that starts to get hairy for me.
I don't know that I have ever done anything ridiculous for God's glory. I know that I am staying on in this study because I know God wants me to. This would be the part that if I had to decide, I would bail out and it is not because of the wonderful people here hiking with me. It is because I think this part of the hike is difficult for me to navigate. I am saddened and scared when I read about how everything - kids, puppies, moms, dads, men, women, cows, goats, etc. are massacred. I am not sure where the glory of God is in that. So, I am staying on and will try not to get too out of breath as I continue this journey.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Can You Tell I'm a Christian?
Well, this is a little late in being delivered, but better late than never.
Can people tell I am a Christian by looking at me? Can they see it in my eyes? Do my actions exemplify it? I don't know. As I read Joshua 5, I am struck by circumcision/pain and it points out 2 things to me. 1 - sometimes you have to do painful things for God. 2 - God will mark you, but not everyone sees it. Circumcision is now a controversial thing, but I didn't think twice about getting my son circumcised. I did it because I had read that it helps prevents infections, but I also did it because I read about it in the bible. I was there when he was circumcised and then I was there again when we had to take him to the pediatric nephrologist because of issues due to his circumcision. I did not regret my decision to have him circumcised. I cannot imagine grown men being circumcised. That is truly a sacrifice for God and it shows me that they knew that God was worth it. God used circumcision as a covenant and promise to his People.
Have I ever been asked to do anything to sacrifice for God? I don't know. I went to Kenya and when I returned I felt compelled to apply to local Physician Assistant programs. I really felt as though God was telling me to do this. Lots of interesting signs.... Well, I have been rejected by 2 out of the 3 schools I have applied to. Is it physically painful? No. However, it is painful to my psyche. I never thought I would be rejected because I am too old for this type of program. Apparently, my prerequisites are too old for some of these programs. Do I want to go to school to go back to school, not really? However, I think that is what God is asking me to do. Not painful by Joshua's standards, but somewhat painful by my standards. However, I know God is holy and will only ask me to do things that I am capable of doing.
I don't think that I can recognize Christians by sight or smell. I don't know that I am recognizable as a Christian either. My ideas of recognizable Christians are not usually favorable. I have had people say to me that they cannot believe I am a Christian because I don't judge everything they do. Believe me, I don't want to be judged either. I don't know that Christianity is about "blending in" but it is about being part of the world we live in. I want people to notice my actions and reactions and wonder what is different about me. I don't like the negative connotation that being a Christian has lately. I want to be like Jesus and have dinner with the tax collectors and sinners. Bring on the party!
Can people tell I am a Christian by looking at me? Can they see it in my eyes? Do my actions exemplify it? I don't know. As I read Joshua 5, I am struck by circumcision/pain and it points out 2 things to me. 1 - sometimes you have to do painful things for God. 2 - God will mark you, but not everyone sees it. Circumcision is now a controversial thing, but I didn't think twice about getting my son circumcised. I did it because I had read that it helps prevents infections, but I also did it because I read about it in the bible. I was there when he was circumcised and then I was there again when we had to take him to the pediatric nephrologist because of issues due to his circumcision. I did not regret my decision to have him circumcised. I cannot imagine grown men being circumcised. That is truly a sacrifice for God and it shows me that they knew that God was worth it. God used circumcision as a covenant and promise to his People.
Have I ever been asked to do anything to sacrifice for God? I don't know. I went to Kenya and when I returned I felt compelled to apply to local Physician Assistant programs. I really felt as though God was telling me to do this. Lots of interesting signs.... Well, I have been rejected by 2 out of the 3 schools I have applied to. Is it physically painful? No. However, it is painful to my psyche. I never thought I would be rejected because I am too old for this type of program. Apparently, my prerequisites are too old for some of these programs. Do I want to go to school to go back to school, not really? However, I think that is what God is asking me to do. Not painful by Joshua's standards, but somewhat painful by my standards. However, I know God is holy and will only ask me to do things that I am capable of doing.
I don't think that I can recognize Christians by sight or smell. I don't know that I am recognizable as a Christian either. My ideas of recognizable Christians are not usually favorable. I have had people say to me that they cannot believe I am a Christian because I don't judge everything they do. Believe me, I don't want to be judged either. I don't know that Christianity is about "blending in" but it is about being part of the world we live in. I want people to notice my actions and reactions and wonder what is different about me. I don't like the negative connotation that being a Christian has lately. I want to be like Jesus and have dinner with the tax collectors and sinners. Bring on the party!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Stepping Stones
Reading Joshua 4 really strikes me as a hiker's chapter. It reminds of crossing a stream or a creek on stepping stones. The Israelites were blessed to have God leading the way and stopping the flow of water in the Jordan. It shows God's faithfulness once again in taking care of His chosen people. As the Israelites cross the Jordan it proves to me that God is true to His word and His people are crossing into the Promised Land. I love rocks and the rock memorial that is being set up to honor God. Rocks are so forever to me. It is like "Diamonds are forever." Diamonds are just shiny rocks! The imagery of the Jordan starting to flow once all the people have crossed seems to be a washing away of the old to me. The Israelites have just crossed into their new life that God promised them.
It might be a new life for them, but it shows that God is always there, unchanging, and faithful. Yes, God is eternal. The concept of eternal is a scary and fascinating concept. It reminds me of "Twilight". Sorry, but it does. I have 2 daughters who have asked me to watch the movies with them and I am struck by the sorrow that these vampires have of having eternal life on earth. That is not where we want to be eternally. Plus, how about the idea of "eternal youth." That really doesn't seem to work out for anyone; you just need to look at all the bad plastic surgery to see that. The idea of eternal life with God, now that is where I want to be. As I explain to my kids, we die to this earthly life and get to live eternally with God if we believe and follow His Son, Jesus. That is not an easy concept to get. There are days when I get swept over by it, but learning more about God and His Son soothes me. The concepts of eternal, eternity, and infinity are very difficult grasp.
God's miracles are not always easy to grasp either. The memory of God's Goodness is something I remember best when I am praying. I cannot pray without thinking of all the good God has done in my life and the lives around me. Plus, looking at the miracles that are my children, it reinforces the fact that God is good!
I would have to say that my comfort level in sharing what God has done for me is increasing. I used to feel weird if I would talk about God and miracles or answered prayers. Now that I am meeting more and more people who have experienced similar things, it has become easier for me to share. I actually find that my story about going to Kenya is a great way to introduce the concept of God to people. They are fascinated hearing about traveling far away to help people who are so much worse off than anyone here in the US. Just like going to a new place or experiencing something new can cause anxiety, but we push through it. I am finding that I have to push through some of that anxiety to share the Goodness of God. It is not always easy and takes some balance, just like crossing over these Stepping Stones.
It might be a new life for them, but it shows that God is always there, unchanging, and faithful. Yes, God is eternal. The concept of eternal is a scary and fascinating concept. It reminds me of "Twilight". Sorry, but it does. I have 2 daughters who have asked me to watch the movies with them and I am struck by the sorrow that these vampires have of having eternal life on earth. That is not where we want to be eternally. Plus, how about the idea of "eternal youth." That really doesn't seem to work out for anyone; you just need to look at all the bad plastic surgery to see that. The idea of eternal life with God, now that is where I want to be. As I explain to my kids, we die to this earthly life and get to live eternally with God if we believe and follow His Son, Jesus. That is not an easy concept to get. There are days when I get swept over by it, but learning more about God and His Son soothes me. The concepts of eternal, eternity, and infinity are very difficult grasp.
God's miracles are not always easy to grasp either. The memory of God's Goodness is something I remember best when I am praying. I cannot pray without thinking of all the good God has done in my life and the lives around me. Plus, looking at the miracles that are my children, it reinforces the fact that God is good!
I would have to say that my comfort level in sharing what God has done for me is increasing. I used to feel weird if I would talk about God and miracles or answered prayers. Now that I am meeting more and more people who have experienced similar things, it has become easier for me to share. I actually find that my story about going to Kenya is a great way to introduce the concept of God to people. They are fascinated hearing about traveling far away to help people who are so much worse off than anyone here in the US. Just like going to a new place or experiencing something new can cause anxiety, but we push through it. I am finding that I have to push through some of that anxiety to share the Goodness of God. It is not always easy and takes some balance, just like crossing over these Stepping Stones.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Is God Working Upstream?
Joshua 3 holds a special place in my mind because it reminds me of a fabulous sermon by our Pastor. He talked about it as God working upstream in our lives. I remember the maps and everything from that Sunday. I don't remember exactly what was going on at the time, but I do remember thinking, "I really needed to hear that." Well, reading this again has hit me with, "I really needed to read that," all over again. How can I believe that God is going to stop that water when I step in? How could the Israelites be sure? I know they had their proof in the Red Sea, but that was a long time ago for me. I like science and I like proof. Sure, God may be working upstream in my life, but where's the proof? The proof is in the trust and waiting that I have to do - not one of my strengths to say the least!
If I was there, would I even be ready to cross the Jordan? If I had to purify myself to cross, I would have to work on my anger. I am easily angered when things don't go the way I want them to go. The problem is that the anger becomes like maple syrup and it oozes all over and makes everything sticky. It is hard to get rid of sometimes. It probably would not be such a problem if I stopped and listened and let Him lead.
I found it easy to follow God to Kenya and I wasn't so bad about listening to Him when I first returned. However, in the months since I have come home it is like I am driving further and further away from a favorite radio station. There is more and more static. I don't stop and try to tune in better, I keep moving. It is like when we were little and had those rabbit ear antennae on the TV. My older sister and I were charged with the task of moving them all over the place so my dad could watch TV. I just keep moving and it doesn't get any better. I need to stop and tune back in. I am sure I could follow better if I did that. I feel as though I follow God in areas of service. I have always felt compelled to help those "in need." That is good for the most part, but I was the one defining "in need." It is a nice area to follow God and I unexpectedly followed God in that area right to Kenya. It was an amazing trip of service, discovery, and friendship and I look forward to going back in the future. There were lots of obstacles that cropped up after I put my deposit down for the trip, but God made it possible for me to go without glitches. I do have trouble letting Him lead in other areas of my life like finances, career, and relationships. It is not usually until I have made some blunder that I stop and tune in to see what He has to say. Therefore, I have a lot of work to do in that area.
As I read this passage in Joshua, one of the words that struck me in the word study was PURIFY. I love words. I read a lot of the Old Testament verses with purify and I was struck with the idea of Penance in the Catholic Church. Penance is when one goes to the priest and confesses his/her sins. The priest then gives prayers and sometimes service that needs to be done to make amends for the sins. I am thinking that getting those sins out in the open, exposing them, does help people to purify themselves. I looked purify up on dictionary.com and here is what I found....
r-uh-fahy]
I was struck by the terms "Free from" and the concept of cleaning. It made me think of cleaning up before going out to dinner with someone. It also made me realize that I would have to "clean up" certain areas of my life to better spend time with God and to follow His word. I need to be patient, tune in, and let Him lead. I know I would not have been the first to put my feet in the Jordan, but I would have crossed.
If I was there, would I even be ready to cross the Jordan? If I had to purify myself to cross, I would have to work on my anger. I am easily angered when things don't go the way I want them to go. The problem is that the anger becomes like maple syrup and it oozes all over and makes everything sticky. It is hard to get rid of sometimes. It probably would not be such a problem if I stopped and listened and let Him lead.
I found it easy to follow God to Kenya and I wasn't so bad about listening to Him when I first returned. However, in the months since I have come home it is like I am driving further and further away from a favorite radio station. There is more and more static. I don't stop and try to tune in better, I keep moving. It is like when we were little and had those rabbit ear antennae on the TV. My older sister and I were charged with the task of moving them all over the place so my dad could watch TV. I just keep moving and it doesn't get any better. I need to stop and tune back in. I am sure I could follow better if I did that. I feel as though I follow God in areas of service. I have always felt compelled to help those "in need." That is good for the most part, but I was the one defining "in need." It is a nice area to follow God and I unexpectedly followed God in that area right to Kenya. It was an amazing trip of service, discovery, and friendship and I look forward to going back in the future. There were lots of obstacles that cropped up after I put my deposit down for the trip, but God made it possible for me to go without glitches. I do have trouble letting Him lead in other areas of my life like finances, career, and relationships. It is not usually until I have made some blunder that I stop and tune in to see what He has to say. Therefore, I have a lot of work to do in that area.
As I read this passage in Joshua, one of the words that struck me in the word study was PURIFY. I love words. I read a lot of the Old Testament verses with purify and I was struck with the idea of Penance in the Catholic Church. Penance is when one goes to the priest and confesses his/her sins. The priest then gives prayers and sometimes service that needs to be done to make amends for the sins. I am thinking that getting those sins out in the open, exposing them, does help people to purify themselves. I looked purify up on dictionary.com and here is what I found....
pu·ri·fy
[pyoor-uh-fahy]verb, -fied, -fy·ing.
–verb (used with object)
1.
to make pure; free from anything that debases, pollutes,adulterates, or contaminates: to purify metals.
2.
to free from foreign, extraneous, or objectionable elements:to purify a language.
3.
to free from guilt or evil.
4.
to clear or purge (usually fol. by of or from ).
5.
to make clean for ceremonial or ritual use.
–verb (used without object)
6.
to become pure.
I was struck by the terms "Free from" and the concept of cleaning. It made me think of cleaning up before going out to dinner with someone. It also made me realize that I would have to "clean up" certain areas of my life to better spend time with God and to follow His word. I need to be patient, tune in, and let Him lead. I know I would not have been the first to put my feet in the Jordan, but I would have crossed.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Distracted by the Scenery
I cannot believe that it has been almost a week since the end of the last camp. I have definitely been distracted. I love this story in Joshua about Rahab. I can relate to Rahab. I too am a sinner and have experienced God's love and forgiveness. Rahab hears about God's greatness and puts her faith in Him and deems Him worthy of her trust. She trusts Him enough to let 2 strange guys into her house. He truly is WORTHY. God is worthy of my good behavior and example. Do I behave appropriately all the time? No. I feel like I fall flat quite a bit. I feel as though my behavior is important in front of everyone and most especially my non-believing friends and family. I want to show them God's love through my actions and show them why He is worthy of their belief. My actions can be a piece of the puzzle of their Salvation. I may be the beginning corner piece or part of the blue sky in the middle of the puzzle or the very last piece. I just want to be a piece.
I know that God is worthy of my love, but I feel like as a sinner I am not worthy. God's sent His Son to die for me. WOW! I love Matthew 5:16 "In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your Heavenly Father." I liken this to the Golden Rule. If I treat people the way I want to be treated, all will be good. I am convinced that people should Walk Their Talk! I like the idea of the Gospel According to Michelle. If someone was writing down everything I did, I would probably pay better attention.
As Christians, it is up to us to be God's example. It reminds me of the poem by Teresa of Avila I have hanging on my mirror. I put it up there before going to Kenya.
We are saved by faith, but I believe we may save others with our works.
I know that God is worthy of my love, but I feel like as a sinner I am not worthy. God's sent His Son to die for me. WOW! I love Matthew 5:16 "In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your Heavenly Father." I liken this to the Golden Rule. If I treat people the way I want to be treated, all will be good. I am convinced that people should Walk Their Talk! I like the idea of the Gospel According to Michelle. If someone was writing down everything I did, I would probably pay better attention.
As Christians, it is up to us to be God's example. It reminds me of the poem by Teresa of Avila I have hanging on my mirror. I put it up there before going to Kenya.
Christ has no body but yours,
No hands, no feet on earth but yours,
Yours are the eyes with which He looks compassion on this world,
Yours are the feet with which He walks to do good,
Yours are the hands with which He blesses all the world.
Yours are the hands, yours are the feet,
Yours are the eyes, you are His body.
Christ has no body now but yours,
Yours are the eyes with which He looks compassion on this world.
Christ has no body now on earth but yours.
We are saved by faith, but I believe we may save others with our works.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Cleaning Out Closets and Cobwebs
Well, it has been some time coming, but I finally cleaned out my closet today. I have to thank my mom and Jen Thompson for the inspiration. Why do I do my best thinking when I am cleaning things out? I have these brilliant insights and then when I am finished.... they are gone - - - Poof! I did realize that I just have too much stuff. It felt good to put the items I have not worn in a year or more in the big, huge Hefty bag. I hope someone enjoys them as much as I did. I get a great sense of satisfaction seeing things all clean and tidy. So, when you look in my windows, please notice that all of my blinds are clean. Ignore the windows, it is still a little too cold to do those.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
You Should Be Dancin', yeah! Dancin', yeah!!!
[You know the song, sing it!]
Got back a few hours ago from Kylae's 1st dance competition. Wow is all I can say. Not only can my daughter dance, but everyone who had a daughter there, she can dance too. Oh, and the few guys who had the guts to compete- fabulous! It was an amazing day. I was so impressed. It is truly an amazing parental experience when you can see your children's hard work pay off. Her team got a 2nd place and I know they were disappointed, but it was a wonderful performance. I just sent pictures to my family as all proud parents do.
This feeling got me to start thinking, does God feel this way when we do something good? I bet He does! I am going to go to bed with that happy thought and figure out how to make God proud!
Got back a few hours ago from Kylae's 1st dance competition. Wow is all I can say. Not only can my daughter dance, but everyone who had a daughter there, she can dance too. Oh, and the few guys who had the guts to compete- fabulous! It was an amazing day. I was so impressed. It is truly an amazing parental experience when you can see your children's hard work pay off. Her team got a 2nd place and I know they were disappointed, but it was a wonderful performance. I just sent pictures to my family as all proud parents do.
This feeling got me to start thinking, does God feel this way when we do something good? I bet He does! I am going to go to bed with that happy thought and figure out how to make God proud!
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